Under the same stars


We are all living under the same stars.

We’re all living on the same ground, facing the same inevitabilities: we’re all going to experience joy, we’re all going to suffer loss, and we’re all going to die.

We’re all going to deal with people saying and doing shitty things to us and to people we love, and we are all going to say and do shitty things to others.

Every single one of us is going to wonder if there is something we are missing. And we are all going to have moments – even if but a moment – when we want for absolutely nothing more than what’s right at hand. If you pray, pray for an entire life of such – for you and everyone in the world.

We are going to be excited about holidays and presents and grandparents and parties, and we are going to feel obligated and overwhelmed by those very same privileges.

We will ache for company, and we will crave solitude.

We will debate whether it’s braver to ride out a rough spot where we are, or chart new territory on our own.

We’re all going to want to punch someone we love in the throat. We’re going to regret it when we do.

We’re going to overthink some plans, and we’re going to jump impulsively into bad decisions.

At some point, we’re going to discover sex, faith and death. At another point, we’re going to realize we were wrong about what we were sure of.

We’re going to do too much of something, not enough of something else.

Each of us is smaller than we think we are, and all of us are bigger.

We’re all the same under the stars.


Changes and constants

White shoes on Veterans Day

White shoes on Veterans Day

It was warm today when we watched the Veterans Day parade; we took our coats off and stood in the sunshine. And tomorrow it will be cold; optimistic kids are calling for a Snow Day.

The seasons change in fits and starts, and probably there will be one more day when we go without leggings before we pull out the gloves, which we will wear until one day in the middle of winter when it feels like spring but isn’t.

For several years in a row, I left work early on New Year’s Day to go hiking or for a run. That was when I always worked on New Years.

I don’t do that anymore if I can avoid it. I’d rather be with my family, or my friends who are like my family.

If we do it right, the way we live our lives evolves. Continue reading

Things I Want My Daughter To Know About Sex

Some friends and I were discussing this article about whether parents should feel comfortable with their teenagers having sex in their homes. I personally would not.

But certainly what I do support is making sure that as my daughter grows up, she knows what I think about the issue – not about sex in my house, specifically, but more importantly my thoughts on sex in a woman’s life in general.

Here are some things I’d like her to know:

Continue reading

On being photographed with a cocktail in hand

In her family, people fought bravely with addiction and depression. They made gut-wrenching personal decisions and accepted tough financial times with graceful humility for the good of their children.

His family was full of drunks and crazy people. They had abortions and lived off food stamps. Continue reading

How not to feel (too) guilty about taking Trader Joe’s on a camping trip


The guitar case-induced injury sustained during Saturday night’s impromptu dance party appears to be in the getting-uglier-before-it-gets-better phase.

It’s about a two-inch (or inch-and-a-half… however long a guitar case snap typically is) slice across the top of my left knee, surrounded on all sides by a bruised knot.

I don’t know if this will heal before Thursday, when my calendar says I am to dress in cocktail attire and hang out with Prince Edward.

And I don’t know what I more enjoy discussing: My guitar case injury, or my date with Prince Edward.

That may be a polite embellishment (including the identification of this event as a “date”, which in fact it is a work engagement), but allow me to begin with the guitar injury.

Continue reading

10 Things I’ve Learned Since Turning 30

This photo was taken in the second half of my 20s. I am now in the second half of my 30s. Really, though, I just like the look my daughter is giving me. I think that's one thing that probably won't ever change.

This photo was taken in the second half of my 20s. I am now in the second half of my 30s. Really, though, I just like the look my daughter is giving me. I think that’s one thing that probably won’t ever change.

I turn 36 on the 14th of May. Many things I’ve learned thus far in my 30s challenge assumptions I made in my 20s.

Here is a Top 10 list.

Hoping you’ll add your own wisdom, especially those who’ve already rounded out the back half of this decade.

Continue reading

Being The Boss

I was a reporter in a newspaper bureau, covering the county school system and writing stories about things like dress codes, standardized test scores and school board politics.

I enjoyed it but grew bored after a couple of years. I was pretty sure I wanted to be an editor. Or, more specifically, in charge.

When one of the designers in the office built an internal website for employees to get to know each other better, she had us fill out a survey that included our plans for the future.

I answered, “The boss of you.” Continue reading