Life and Death on Facebook

The following was written by my dear friend, Courtney Seiter. I think she is being too hard on herself. I can safely speak for all her friends when I say she is one of the most sensitive and deeply “present” people I have ever known.

By Courtney Seiter

If you haven’t had a friend die in the age of Facebook yet, you will.

I’m sorry about that.

It changes things, the Facebook part.

First of all, unless you’re extraordinarily close to the person, chances are really good that Facebook is where you’ll first hear the bad news. That’s what happened to me a week ago. Continue reading


Things Women Talk About When It’s Just Us

Ladies trip to Napa Valley. Spring, 2012.

I just returned from a trip to Napa Valley with a group of women friends and I am spending this week in the company of my daughter, my mother and several other precious ladies. I’ve been thinking about our most consistent narratives, and trying to boil them down to a list.

We womenfolk talk about many, many things. But there are some we discuss in more depth when men are not among us. In no particular order, here are a few from my experience. A toast to all our toasts, ladies.

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132 Minutes on the Phone with Mom

Mother's Day 2011: Lily, Mom, Me.

“Hey, Mom. What are you doing?”

“Hey, Knight. Not much. Sitting on my deck, drinking coffee.”

“See, that’s what I am aiming to do, but first I had to take the empty water glasses from my bedside table down to the kitchen and put them in the dishwasher, but the dishwasher was full, so then I had to unload it, and then I wanted to listen to music while I unloaded the dishwasher, but my computer was all seized up so I had to reboot it first, and so I went ahead and started on the dishes while the reboot was in progress, and then I got sort of frustrated…”

“Yes, well, I have dirty dishes and the counter should be wiped down, but I went outside so I don’t have to look at it.”

“That’s you, Mom. I am a little more neurotic than that.”

“You are, yes.”

“Also, my real issue is that I started the day by fighting with Lily. And even though she’s 10 and I know it’s hormones and it’s normal and all that, still, ugh, kill me.”

“She misses you and wants some time with you.”

We talked for 132 minutes more, my mother and I.

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The opportunity in loss

The people who are the best at something – the most knowledgable experts, the most passionate lovers – had to forsake other endeavors to get there.

Did you know Tony Hawk gave up the violin to ride a skateboard?

Among word people, most of us lean toward writing or editing.

The most committed and deeply talented had to turn some things down, make some choices, focus.

Or so we assume.

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