When Your Mom Is “Famous”

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My first memory of Mom as a working mother is from second grade. One of the kids in my class was sort of famous because his mom taught third grade in our school. The only kid who seemed more exotic than him was our own teacher’s kid. We knew what his mom was like at school. Here was a kid who knew what she was like in real life!

With my younger brother starting kindergarten, my mother began substitute teaching that year, and this put me on a third tier of teachers’ kids. No one had her full-time, but most kids had her at some point. That made her like a supporting actress, which made me almost cool.

The next year, Mom was a full-time teacher with her own class. She taught sixth grade, so while my friends were all too young to be her students, she was definitely a lady people knew. We could not go to the grocery store, ball park, or Mt. Juliet’s one (at the time) fast food restaurant without someone stopping to chat with Mrs. Stivender.

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Why watching Boston’s real life “Law & Order” doesn’t feel quite right

Police ordered everyone in the entire city of Boston to lock themselves inside wherever they were. Tanks rolled down city streets. Subways shut down. Gunshots ricocheted in residential areas.

So far, a 19-year-old kid has eluded this massive manhunt for hours after his older brother was gunned down by officers he attacked, including one he killed, in Friday’s wee hours.

“Up since 3:50 a.m. and can’t get enough of this story,” wrote one of my Facebook friends who is a journalist. “Woke up the troops around 4:15, and a long day ahead. Hard to explain to non-journos, but I can’t imagine doing anything else at a time when so many rely on us to share information.”

I’ve been in news for 15 years and am well acquainted with the instinct that drives us toward the center of action.

But I’m not sure that was the only factor at play on Friday. I’m not even sure it was the primary one.

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What It’s Like To Work In News

Thanks to Keith Miles for this photo of me, which he took at the city's kickoff for its 35-year planning process.

Thanks to Keith Miles for this photo of me, which he took at the city’s kickoff for its 35-year planning process.

When I was a reporter in The Tennessean’s Williamson County office, one of the things I could count on was a daily phone call from a cranky but hilarious school board member who absolutely loved to gossip about his fellow board members and make outlandishly inflammatory accusations of school administrators.

These calls were frequently conducted from his bathtub and often he’d be smoking at the same time. I know this because I could hear the splashing and exhaling. Also, because I asked him. If a man is naked when he calls, it’s best to know it up front.

Anyway, this guy is on a long list of characters I’ve been graced to know because of what I do for a living.

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The Top Seven Rainbow Bright Moments of 2012

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I’ve decided 2012 is the Year of the Rainbow.

For my friends and me, some of the happiest moments have come at the tail end of some deluges, both figuratively and literally.

Here are the top seven. …

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Winter Break

My aunt and daughter, Christmas morning 2011. Warm enough to walk to the river in our PJs.

My aunt and daughter, Christmas morning 2011. Warm enough to walk to the river in our PJs.

One of the things I love most about Tennessee is that sometimes the seasons get confused.

It’s 70 degrees for a stretch in December, 50 for a snap in May.

We drink Jack and Diets on a patio while the Christmas traffic whorls around us. We eat chili among spring flowers.

On these days, it is easier to set aside worrisome things.

Forget about that trouble at the office because today is more beautiful than that situation is dire.

Change the oil tomorrow because today we’re not leaving the fireside.

Keep her home from school because she’ll learn more in the garden.

How many songs are written, how many babies made on a warm day in winter, a cold one in late spring?

Nature has shrugged her shoulders; we can, too.

Perennial Christmas

The sedum bloomed beautifully, taller than most sedum and full but tightly constructed like a cheerleader’s pompon, just like it did the year before and the year before that. The difference was that as it grew, the stalks separated from the middle of the original plant, spreading all over that part of the garden and leaving a hole in the center that mildly annoyed the gardener but not enough to propel her to do anything differently.

She cut stalks and decorated her home with them, arranging them with sprigs of rosemary, a plant with the same sort of beautiful, unwieldy but predictable center-holing attributes.

The best thing about the sedum was that when it dried, it looked almost exactly as it had when it lived. The other best thing was that the seeds were easy to harvest, and the gardener did so each holiday season, tucking them into Christmas cards (real Christmas cards, often homemade) that she wrote for people she loved.

She found many people to love each year.

The most precious people were the same ones as the year before, and the year before that.

She knew good people and she knew good plants, with annoying habits and otherwise.

One night she sat alone in her house, a little sleep deprived and a little buzzed on red wine she’d enjoyed with one of those good people, and she realized that people and plants were the same because the world – lovely as it is – does not allow for too much deviation from what has already grown.

A Christmas tree glowed in the background.

A year ago she found herself alone and wrapping presents, feeling 50% sentimental and 50% melancholy, in a state of wonder about all the ways she and the world around her had changed in 12 months. That refrain would repeat, and repeat again. Fundamental change, when it happens, takes many lifetimes.

The sedum flourished. The gardener flourished.

It was Christmas.

The people who loved each other toasted another year, and were surprised at their surprise.

Oh, Tennessee: Do we see ourselves as others do?

Oh, Tennessee.

Sometimes you remind me of me when I was newly single and starting to date. I was so eager and caught up in my own tender heart that I had no idea how I came across to other people. Sometimes it worked out regardless, and much of the time it did not.

I had baggage. Not Civil War kind of baggage, bless your heart, but a (civil but still painful) divorce… Continue reading

Life and Death on Facebook

The following was written by my dear friend, Courtney Seiter. I think she is being too hard on herself. I can safely speak for all her friends when I say she is one of the most sensitive and deeply “present” people I have ever known.

 
By Courtney Seiter

If you haven’t had a friend die in the age of Facebook yet, you will.

I’m sorry about that.

It changes things, the Facebook part.

First of all, unless you’re extraordinarily close to the person, chances are really good that Facebook is where you’ll first hear the bad news. That’s what happened to me a week ago. Continue reading